My children randomly woke up last night...a lot. I'm exhausted and cranky.
The laundry is staring at me. My laundromat is being evicted.
For some unknown reason my children now will not nap. One starts to, only to be woken up by the other. Then they trade roles.
I want a nap or giant coffee or my parents to live closer and play with my children for several hours. None of these things are happening right now.
In the silly little rough stuff of day to day motherhood - He is still risen.
Showing posts with label Dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dad. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Easter
It's been a busy few days. The weekend was packed with wonderful birthday parties for precious little girls. The week so far has been a beautiful blur of visits from my family. It's quiet in my house now. Things are slowing down a bit before the holiday weekend. It's giving me time to think. Easter is coming. It's my favorite holiday. Everything in my life hinges on this Sunday, on these words,
"He is not here; He has risen, just as He said..."
-Matt 28:6
That changes everything. All of history, eternity, and I will never be the same. Breathtaking! I'm astounded by the miracle and the simplicity of God's unending grace. I can't forget though that Good Friday is also coming. I can't forget what had to come first. The sacrifice that was required so that grace could be extended, so that I could be forgiven. It's heartbreaking and humbling - the depth of His love for me...and for you.
Happy Easter!
He is Risen!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Familiar Faces OR That Joyful Leap Of Your Heart
In early October I got to be part of some homecomings and overlapping visits of old friends. Kelly made it back to SJ to adopt my Sis-In-Law's dog (being the saint she is drove all the way from AZ to pick her up). Kerr came for a wedding. It was the first time since my wedding in 2005 they were here at the same time.
Kelly and I sat across from one another in eighth grade science. We've been close ever since. We saw each other through the best and worst of high school. We helped each other grapple with things fourteen, fifteen, and sixteen year olds should never have to face. We built the sort of bonds that make you sisters no matter the passage of time. Kel moved to Arizona after shortly after we graduated and, although we visited regularly for a few years, in the end we floated in and out of one another's lives. This time it had been two years since we'd seen each other.
Kerr and I met in junior high as well. We started to get close when he & Dom would cut church and walk to my house on Sunday mornings. It wasn't until freshman year, however, that we became best friends. Strangely enough, I remember the exact moment that cinched it. I was fourteen and he was fifteen (our birthdays are back to back) and it was at a party at Raf's. I was there for him in a moment of need. After that we were there for each other, period. Over the last eighteen years our lives have changed and gone in different directions, but there has never been a moment when we couldn't call the other. Kerr had been home several months back, but we never get to see enough of each other when he is here and there is always a sadness when he has to go back to Texas.
The weekend after Kelly and Kerr's visits I got to see my cousin Bart for the first time in twelve years. Bart & I are only a few months apart in age. We grew up near each other until we were about eight years old and our families moved. His to Wisconsin and mine to California. From then on we lived half way and, at times, all the way across the country from each other. We'd see each other every few years and it'd be like no time had passed at all. I can't believe this time it had been twelve years, long enough for me to finish college, him to be stationed overseas more than once, us to both get married, and for me to have a child.
What I wanted to write about was that moment you first see a loved one after much too much time has passed. It is the moment you first lay eyes on them when it fully hits you just how much you've missed them. You are always aware that you miss them when you think of them, but life keeps going and you accept that you don't get to see them. You stop really thinking about the fact that they are no longer part of your everyday life, though you'd like them to be. All of that dulls until the moment you see them again. All of a sudden it washes over you how much you've missed them and how glad you are that they have been in your life. I felt so blessed to get to have three of those moments within a week. Kelly, Kerr, and Bart, I love you guys more than you know. Boppa, Momma, Richard, Aunties, Uncles, Cousins, Talicia, Amaya, Janette, and a few others, I'm waiting for those moments. I love you and I can't wait until I see you next!!
Kelly and I sat across from one another in eighth grade science. We've been close ever since. We saw each other through the best and worst of high school. We helped each other grapple with things fourteen, fifteen, and sixteen year olds should never have to face. We built the sort of bonds that make you sisters no matter the passage of time. Kel moved to Arizona after shortly after we graduated and, although we visited regularly for a few years, in the end we floated in and out of one another's lives. This time it had been two years since we'd seen each other.
Kerr and I met in junior high as well. We started to get close when he & Dom would cut church and walk to my house on Sunday mornings. It wasn't until freshman year, however, that we became best friends. Strangely enough, I remember the exact moment that cinched it. I was fourteen and he was fifteen (our birthdays are back to back) and it was at a party at Raf's. I was there for him in a moment of need. After that we were there for each other, period. Over the last eighteen years our lives have changed and gone in different directions, but there has never been a moment when we couldn't call the other. Kerr had been home several months back, but we never get to see enough of each other when he is here and there is always a sadness when he has to go back to Texas.
The weekend after Kelly and Kerr's visits I got to see my cousin Bart for the first time in twelve years. Bart & I are only a few months apart in age. We grew up near each other until we were about eight years old and our families moved. His to Wisconsin and mine to California. From then on we lived half way and, at times, all the way across the country from each other. We'd see each other every few years and it'd be like no time had passed at all. I can't believe this time it had been twelve years, long enough for me to finish college, him to be stationed overseas more than once, us to both get married, and for me to have a child.
What I wanted to write about was that moment you first see a loved one after much too much time has passed. It is the moment you first lay eyes on them when it fully hits you just how much you've missed them. You are always aware that you miss them when you think of them, but life keeps going and you accept that you don't get to see them. You stop really thinking about the fact that they are no longer part of your everyday life, though you'd like them to be. All of that dulls until the moment you see them again. All of a sudden it washes over you how much you've missed them and how glad you are that they have been in your life. I felt so blessed to get to have three of those moments within a week. Kelly, Kerr, and Bart, I love you guys more than you know. Boppa, Momma, Richard, Aunties, Uncles, Cousins, Talicia, Amaya, Janette, and a few others, I'm waiting for those moments. I love you and I can't wait until I see you next!!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Blurb
I want to post all about my amazing birthday and the incredible people who made it that way, but I can't! I have a baby with a small sleep window and LOTS to do for the divine Mrs. Lee, her tiny Lee, & the baby shower of love. For now, thanks so much to everyone who made me feel so loved on (and before) my big day! Also,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KERR!!!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Gloriously Thwarted
My ever so relaxing week before my birthday fell through. Life got in the way. That is O.K. though, because it is full of other ways I'm getting to celebrate. I'm getting to honor people I love and be part of life experiences. Monday my family was in town and we got to have dinner together, run errands, and enjoy each other! My dad bought Boo a little pink lei for 27 cents and she thought it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever worn. Tuesday I put in several hours preparing for Stacy's baby shower. I'm really excited about it. Stacy and her baby deserve to be celebrated and I'm gad I'm getting to be part of doing this for her. Yesterday we spent time with Cathie before her move. We also got to go for a walk with my Dad-in-Law (who recently moved, but was visiting). Before that we took our little one to be part of a study at Stanford. I'm getting to see her come into her own more and more each day. Sometimes that means learning new words or skills and other times it means screaming and rolling on the floor. In the moment the former pleases me much more than the latter, but both mean she is learning about life and that is exhilarating. This week may have been somewhat unexpected, but it was in the very best way.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Home
A Few Things That Feel Like Home To Me:
- Really good time in prayer
- My husband's arms
- My little girl's smile
- The sounds of my family enjoying themselves when I visit my folks
- My brother calling me, "Seester" or "The Joy of my Heart"
- Hugs from old friends who truly know me with all my many quirks and imperfections, yet still love me
- Chuck Taylors
- My favorite jeans.
- The perfect chai tea latte in the fall or caramel macchiato in winter or spring
- Driving down Santa Teresa on a warm day with the windows down and a good song playing.
- "America" by Simon & Garfunkel
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Courtney
There is a lovely almost-silence in my house. Zuzu's bell rings as she jaunts from one place to the next checking things out. The white noise of the rain track we purchased on iTunes plays for my sleeping little girl loudly enough to be heard in the living room. I finish writing a letter and head for the kitchen. As I do I step on a forgotten Cheerio. It sticks to my bare foot for a few steps and then disintegrates to powder on my floor. A smile spreads slowly across my face as that tiny piece of trampled cereal reminds me that I am a mom.
Now and then I feel lost in this world. I think we all do. Yesterday was a struggle for me because of that. The world felt so immense and I so minuscule. Part way through the day I went outside and sat on the steps to my apartment. I prayed for a while, pouring my heart out to God. I was reminded that I am His child, His cherished child. The one He will never leave or forsake.
After I came inside Peter and I stood in the kitchen talking. We talked and talked until we started to understand even better the person each of us had married. I was reminded that I am a wife, a loved and very lucky wife.
My parents called last night to see how I was doing after my Dr.'s appointment. My dad reminded me how important I am to him with affirming words and grand compliments I don't deserve, my mom with fussing and advice. I was reminded that I am a daughter, a daughter held dear by two amazing people.
Last night as Peter and I snuck into our room where our 18 month old daughter lay already sleeping there was a little voice in the darkness, "Hi." When Peter asked if she wanted to come snuggle with us for a moment before going back to sleep she replied, "yeah, yeah, yeah." When he laid her down next to me she rolled towads me, help me tight, and kissed my cheek. I was reminded that I am a mom, the most important woman in her life.
All of these things make up vital parts of who I am. There are smaller parts like being someone who loves to drive on sunny days with the music turned up unreasonably loud, who somewhat secretly loves Styx, who would be crushed on a small scale if her DVR didn't record "So You Think You Can Dance." I am that person. I am also someone who declined to meet Chris Carrabba for fear I'd make an idiot of myself and who gets rediculous when I'm tired. I get cranky when I'm hungry and relate all too well to Sandi Thom's, "I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In Hair)." None of those things are as important as the beautiful reminders I received yesterday. The greatest part of who I am is one who loves Christ, her husband, her daughter, her parents, her brother, and her friends. Yesterday I thanked God for prayer, long talks, phone calls, and hugs. Today I thank Him for little lost cheerios and before work kisses goodbye.
Now and then I feel lost in this world. I think we all do. Yesterday was a struggle for me because of that. The world felt so immense and I so minuscule. Part way through the day I went outside and sat on the steps to my apartment. I prayed for a while, pouring my heart out to God. I was reminded that I am His child, His cherished child. The one He will never leave or forsake.
After I came inside Peter and I stood in the kitchen talking. We talked and talked until we started to understand even better the person each of us had married. I was reminded that I am a wife, a loved and very lucky wife.
My parents called last night to see how I was doing after my Dr.'s appointment. My dad reminded me how important I am to him with affirming words and grand compliments I don't deserve, my mom with fussing and advice. I was reminded that I am a daughter, a daughter held dear by two amazing people.
Last night as Peter and I snuck into our room where our 18 month old daughter lay already sleeping there was a little voice in the darkness, "Hi." When Peter asked if she wanted to come snuggle with us for a moment before going back to sleep she replied, "yeah, yeah, yeah." When he laid her down next to me she rolled towads me, help me tight, and kissed my cheek. I was reminded that I am a mom, the most important woman in her life.
All of these things make up vital parts of who I am. There are smaller parts like being someone who loves to drive on sunny days with the music turned up unreasonably loud, who somewhat secretly loves Styx, who would be crushed on a small scale if her DVR didn't record "So You Think You Can Dance." I am that person. I am also someone who declined to meet Chris Carrabba for fear I'd make an idiot of myself and who gets rediculous when I'm tired. I get cranky when I'm hungry and relate all too well to Sandi Thom's, "I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In Hair)." None of those things are as important as the beautiful reminders I received yesterday. The greatest part of who I am is one who loves Christ, her husband, her daughter, her parents, her brother, and her friends. Yesterday I thanked God for prayer, long talks, phone calls, and hugs. Today I thank Him for little lost cheerios and before work kisses goodbye.
"The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him!” Lam 3:22-24
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Right
I'm at my parents house. It took us what seemed like forever to get here. As I sit in their living room typing my Dad is asleep in the over stuffed chair (the one that was displaced from my apartment when my daughter came along). I stop now and then to listen to my Dad's usually rhythmic breathing and smile. I can also hear Richard and Peter playing with our little girl as my mom flits about doing this and that. It is wonderful. I am blessed. Too often I forget just how blessed I am. I wanted to write this to remind myself when those moment of forgetfulness come along. I guess to you, Reader, I am saying, count your blessings, there are probably more than you might think.
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