Easter

It's been a busy few days.  The weekend was packed with wonderful birthday parties for precious little girls.  The week so far has been a beautiful blur of visits from my family.  It's quiet in my house now.  Things are slowing down a bit before the holiday weekend.  It's giving me time to think.  Easter is coming.  It's my favorite holiday.  Everything in my life hinges on this Sunday, on these words,

"He is not here; He has risen, just as He said..."

-Matt 28:6

That changes everything.  All of history, eternity, and I will never be the same.  Breathtaking!  I'm astounded by the miracle and the simplicity of God's unending grace.  I can't forget though that Good Friday is also coming.  I can't forget what had to come first.  The sacrifice that was required so that grace could be extended, so that I could be forgiven.  It's heartbreaking and humbling - the depth of His love for me...and for you.

Happy Easter!

He is Risen!

Updates, Creations, & Searches

What am I up to these days?  Lots!  Here's a quick run down.

• I'm nurturing my 6 month & 3 year old daughters, working on being a more loving wife, and seeking God.  I feel like I'm doing better in these areas than I have been in a long time.
• I'm considering working out.  For some of you this may be a no brainer, but for me it's not.  I hate working out.  I've never been a sporty girl.  When I was younger I loved no work out exercise like walking places, skateboarding, etc.  Lately I've been much too inactive and I don't like it.  I don't like the way I feel or the way it looks on me.  I know myself well enough to know I need to find something I'll enjoy or I'll never stick with it.  I enjoy out Wii Fit+, but it's broken right now.  Any suggestions?
  
• I'm crafting for the first time in a while.  I had been knitting a lot, but have put that on hold for now.  I recently began creating jewelry.  I'm loving it!  It's fun, easy, and the pieces make fantastic accessories.  Here's a pic:

• I'm researching tattoo artists in the bay area and planning to get my tattoo for my birthday in August.  If you have a suggestion let me know.  I need someone who is good with lettering and, of course, works in a clean, safe shop. 
• I've been feeling inspired to start sewing again.  I'd like to start making things for my girls.  I'm basically a beginning sewer.  I took sewing in jr. high and made several things.  In high school I made one of my halloween costumes by following a pattern.  I hadn't used a machine in ages until two years ago when Kacey helped me make a quilt for my mom.  Now I want to get a sewing machine.  Anyone have suggestions for a good machine for beginners?  I'm not even sure how to start comparing them or what to look for.  Here's a pic of me holding up the quilt I mentioned:

• I've fallen into the busy day to day and haven't been spending time on myself.  I want to remedy this for myself, but also for my family.  I want to look nice for my husband.  I want to set an example for my girls.  I'm teaching them that inner beauty comes from loving the Lord.  It shines through love and kindness that glorifies God.  It comes from your character and it is the most important kind of beauty.  I'm also teaching them that caring for yourself and your appearance is important too.  The fact that it is less important doesn't mean it is unimportant.  The best way I can teach them these things is by my example.  To do that I need something easy so I'm working on a "five minute face" by trying new make-up tips and products.  I'll let you know what I find.  Please share if you have favorites I should check out.  

Life Is Good

Dear Sleep, I miss you.

Last night's sleep schedule:

• 2AM - finally fell asleep
• 2:30 - woken up by Sweet Sickie Face who wanted to climb in my bed, told no, and sent back to bed, she accidentally woke up Beautiful Baby Eat Non-stop.
• 2:45 - falling back to sleep
• 3:10 - Beautiful Baby Eat Non-stop decided she should have been eating instead of sleeping
• 4:45 - I was finally able to get Beautiful Baby Eat Non-stop fed and to fall back to sleep
• 6AM? -  Beautiful Baby Eat Non-stop lost her paci and woke up crying  Wonderful Man I Married remedied the situation
• 7AM? (I'm not sure the time because the delirium had set in) - woken up by Sweet Sickie Face who again wanted to climb in my bed This time she was told yes (the family rule is she has to wait until the sun shines through the curtains) and she was sent over to Wonderful Man I Married 
• 7:05 - 8:00 faded in and out of sleep between questions, pokes, and demands from Sweet Sickie Face until Wonderful Man I Married got the two of them breakfast
• 8:35 Beautiful Baby Eat Non-stop woke up and was quite alarmed it had been so long since her last meal

~The End or, More Appropriately, The Beginning of the Day~

 

 

In a mostly unrelated matter, I was reading Cara-Deo today and was blessed by the quote, "It says desperation is better than despair. And where God's power begins."  I wanted to share it in case you might find it encouraging as well.

Now this sleepy and very silly mommy must go feed that beautiful baby again.

Smiles on a Sick Day

My oldest is sick.  She has the cutest little froggie voice right now.  Rainy inside days with a sick toddler and a baby in the midst of a growth spurt are not known to be full of smiles, but today I was thankful for the little things.  That made quite a difference.  The other, even bigger thing was getting some time with God.  Here are some of the things that made me smile today:

Coffee from my sweet husband

A no real reason phone call from my mom

Reading this awesome book to my sickie face

My beautiful girls (matching outfits c/o Nana)

 This super fun dress by Jelly the Pug I ordered for A

Even better?  Getting it from modnique for $13 instead of $36

Can't wait to see her in it!

Texting, FBing, & E-mailing with Janette, 

my best friend since we were 12

Sharing music I love with my littles

This "album cover" photo of Boo

Notice the drum around her neck while playing harmonica 

This post & just how much God loves ME

 

This hat

One of my babies might need one

I wonder if I could make it

and this song...

I hope your day was full of smiles too!

Pretty Sure

I'm pretty sure this is my lovin' man & I:

 

It's called Clink by Genevieve Santos 

You can find it and lots of other fantastic art at her etsy store, lepetitelefant.

Best Thing I've Done All Day

My daughter ran into the living room yelling, "Mommy, Mommy, I can't find the baby!  They can't fly away from the big bad wolf without the baby!"  The crisis has been averted.  I found  the baby!  Now Sharkie, the baby, and a pink monkey have flown away in various shoes to "America" and escaped the big, bad wolf.  I am amazing!

Comfort

What brings you comfort?  Not on a grand scale like the beautiful, all encompassing comfort we find in the reassurance God is there and cares deeply about all you are facing, but on a small scale.  I mean the little comforts that make such a difference.  For me it's watching my 3 month old blow bubbles or hearing my three year old tell me she loves me.  It's hearing, "Touch of Grey" by The Grateful Dead or the way my ancient Dr. Marten's cradle my feet (Peter is convinced they are beat up beyond wearing in public, but I'm not so sure).  It's laughing with friends who have known me long enough to have seen me at my worst and knowing they still love me.  It's remembering I'm a mom, but knowing that part of me is merging with all the other dynamics of who I am, not becoming my single defining role.  It's walking in the rain.  All of these things are filled with the beautiful promise of God's grace and a new day.  They are reminders of the joy we can find in such a broken place.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Incredible!!

 

Sharing

Read this.  I love it.  That's all.

Visits, Dream Shopping, and What Really Matters

I've had more of those wonderful reunions since I last wrote.  My family and I were able to celebrate Thanksgiving as well as Nana's 80th, Richard's 29th, & Lindsey's 27th birthdays in Portland with my mom's whole side of the fam.  It was wonderful!  I also got to spend the day today with Amaya who is home from NY.  It was so good just to be with loved ones.

Warning : This is going to be a fluff piece.  I'm feeling fluffy ;)

I'm still contemplating a tattoo.  I want the theme to be unconditional love.  If you can think of a line, phrase, pic that exemplifies me please post it so I can include it in the ideas I'm mulling over.

I love wishlists.  We've been over this.  My lists are full of things I don't need, but still love thinking about.  I think they are the most fun right before birthdays & Christmas because of all the possibility.  Currently there are a few things I've been drooling over.  One of them is in my "lately" list to the right.  I saw it at Nordstrom tonight and now I'm longing for it.  Gorgeous and fun while still pulling off sophistication.  I'm also loving Hobo's Lauren wallet in Mogano.   My Sephora wishlist is bursting.  Amaya got me one of the fragrances I'd been wanting - Saint by Kat Von D.  The other one I'm wanting is Unconditional Love.  Sorry, for all the silly gushing.  Amaya & I wandered the mall and I got all starry eyed.

Here comes the substance:

With Christmas coming I wanted to let folks know of some great places to donate to help those in need.  A number of my friends & family are donating instead of exchanging gifts.  I think it is awesome and wanted to encourage my readers to do the same.  These are only a few options.  There are so many other places to give.  Please consider giving gifts that will last and change lives this year. 

Heart to Heart International
Community Pregnancy Centers 
CityTeam Ministries
Living Water International
Covenant House 

Listen Here

Anyone who knows me knows that I love music.  I have no talent for it (unless you count often knowing titles & artists).    I would gladly listen to music from the moment I wake.  I can't listen to it until I fall asleep because I have the bad habit of keeping myself awake listening.  I love the power music has to influence your mood or take you back to an entirely different place and time.  I love that the opening notes to "America" by Simon and Garfunkel make me feel I'm being embraced by an old friend.  To share the music I'm discovering and my dearly loved favorites I've added a section at the very bottom right of this blog that lists songs I've bookmarked on my pandora stations.  I hope you'll enjoy it.

Love Them

"Every little thing wants to be loved."

---The Secret Life of Bees

I Might Be That Fairy

I'm home from Portland ow.  I'll do an update soon about my great trip and the comedy of errors that was coming home.  For now, enjoy the amazing card my wonderful Theresa sent me:

Smile Inducing Goodness

Fighting Fear With Faith

Today I'm walking by faith. My little one has a follow up doctor's appointment at 2:30 to check a strange bump on her stomach. The first appointment sent me reeling when the doctor filling in for our regular pediatrician casually commented that there was "almost no chance it's cancer." It was a thought that hadn't even crossed my mind so all I heard at first was the C word and only later was able to appreciate the "almost no" part. She told us to keep an eye on it and come back in two weeks. The hope was that she'd just bumped herself on something and the spot was swelling that would go away. It's been two weeks and nothing has changed. I'm sad it hasn't disappeared, but pleased it hasn't grown. I've been praying through it and have been learning to lean on God in this. My fervent prayer is that it is nothing serious. I'm frightened that it is, but most of the time I can trust that it's not or that if it is God will carry us all through it. Honestly though, I don't want her to have to "go through" anything. She has an amazing joy, curiosity, and love of life. I want her life to be hard enough that she develops character, but easy enough that she holds onto her happy-go-lucky view of it. I guess that is what all parents want for their kids. So today I'm walking by faith. I'm pushing back the fear and I'm enjoying watching my precious baby girl climb in and out of the laundry basket for the seven thousandth time.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
1 Tim. 1:7

Already There

"It is the fool who fails to return to the place of his last happiness."

--October Road

Courtney

There is a lovely almost-silence in my house. Zuzu's bell rings as she jaunts from one place to the next checking things out. The white noise of the rain track we purchased on iTunes plays for my sleeping little girl loudly enough to be heard in the living room. I finish writing a letter and head for the kitchen. As I do I step on a forgotten Cheerio. It sticks to my bare foot for a few steps and then disintegrates to powder on my floor. A smile spreads slowly across my face as that tiny piece of trampled cereal reminds me that I am a mom.

Now and then I feel lost in this world. I think we all do. Yesterday was a struggle for me because of that. The world felt so immense and I so minuscule. Part way through the day I went outside and sat on the steps to my apartment. I prayed for a while, pouring my heart out to God. I was reminded that I am His child, His cherished child. The one He will never leave or forsake.

After I came inside Peter and I stood in the kitchen talking. We talked and talked until we started to understand even better the person each of us had married. I was reminded that I am a wife, a loved and very lucky wife.

My parents called last night to see how I was doing after my Dr.'s appointment. My dad reminded me how important I am to him with affirming words and grand compliments I don't deserve, my mom with fussing and advice. I was reminded that I am a daughter, a daughter held dear by two amazing people.

Last night as Peter and I snuck into our room where our 18 month old daughter lay already sleeping there was a little voice in the darkness, "Hi." When Peter asked if she wanted to come snuggle with us for a moment before going back to sleep she replied, "yeah, yeah, yeah." When he laid her down next to me she rolled towads me, help me tight, and kissed my cheek. I was reminded that I am a mom, the most important woman in her life.

All of these things make up vital parts of who I am. There are smaller parts like being someone who loves to drive on sunny days with the music turned up unreasonably loud, who somewhat secretly loves Styx, who would be crushed on a small scale if her DVR didn't record "So You Think You Can Dance." I am that person. I am also someone who declined to meet Chris Carrabba for fear I'd make an idiot of myself and who gets rediculous when I'm tired. I get cranky when I'm hungry and relate all too well to Sandi Thom's, "I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In Hair)." None of those things are as important as the beautiful reminders I received yesterday. The greatest part of who I am is one who loves Christ, her husband, her daughter, her parents, her brother, and her friends. Yesterday I thanked God for prayer, long talks, phone calls, and hugs. Today I thank Him for little lost cheerios and before work kisses goodbye.

"The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him!” Lam 3:22-24

Don't We All?

"What Mirabelle needs is an omniscient voice to illuminate and spotlight her. And to inform everyone that this one has value."

---Shopgirl

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."
Luke 12:6-7

Today's Goal