In Brief

Life is exhausting, but good. My girls are willful, but sweet and loving. My husband is busy, but helpful. Our anniversary was odd, but wonderful. I'm growing closer to some dear friends, and it is refreshing. I'm loving making and selling my jewelry.

Updates, Creations, & Searches

What am I up to these days?  Lots!  Here's a quick run down.

• I'm nurturing my 6 month & 3 year old daughters, working on being a more loving wife, and seeking God.  I feel like I'm doing better in these areas than I have been in a long time.
• I'm considering working out.  For some of you this may be a no brainer, but for me it's not.  I hate working out.  I've never been a sporty girl.  When I was younger I loved no work out exercise like walking places, skateboarding, etc.  Lately I've been much too inactive and I don't like it.  I don't like the way I feel or the way it looks on me.  I know myself well enough to know I need to find something I'll enjoy or I'll never stick with it.  I enjoy out Wii Fit+, but it's broken right now.  Any suggestions?
  
• I'm crafting for the first time in a while.  I had been knitting a lot, but have put that on hold for now.  I recently began creating jewelry.  I'm loving it!  It's fun, easy, and the pieces make fantastic accessories.  Here's a pic:

• I'm researching tattoo artists in the bay area and planning to get my tattoo for my birthday in August.  If you have a suggestion let me know.  I need someone who is good with lettering and, of course, works in a clean, safe shop. 
• I've been feeling inspired to start sewing again.  I'd like to start making things for my girls.  I'm basically a beginning sewer.  I took sewing in jr. high and made several things.  In high school I made one of my halloween costumes by following a pattern.  I hadn't used a machine in ages until two years ago when Kacey helped me make a quilt for my mom.  Now I want to get a sewing machine.  Anyone have suggestions for a good machine for beginners?  I'm not even sure how to start comparing them or what to look for.  Here's a pic of me holding up the quilt I mentioned:

• I've fallen into the busy day to day and haven't been spending time on myself.  I want to remedy this for myself, but also for my family.  I want to look nice for my husband.  I want to set an example for my girls.  I'm teaching them that inner beauty comes from loving the Lord.  It shines through love and kindness that glorifies God.  It comes from your character and it is the most important kind of beauty.  I'm also teaching them that caring for yourself and your appearance is important too.  The fact that it is less important doesn't mean it is unimportant.  The best way I can teach them these things is by my example.  To do that I need something easy so I'm working on a "five minute face" by trying new make-up tips and products.  I'll let you know what I find.  Please share if you have favorites I should check out.  

Dear Sleep, I miss you.

Last night's sleep schedule:

• 2AM - finally fell asleep
• 2:30 - woken up by Sweet Sickie Face who wanted to climb in my bed, told no, and sent back to bed, she accidentally woke up Beautiful Baby Eat Non-stop.
• 2:45 - falling back to sleep
• 3:10 - Beautiful Baby Eat Non-stop decided she should have been eating instead of sleeping
• 4:45 - I was finally able to get Beautiful Baby Eat Non-stop fed and to fall back to sleep
• 6AM? -  Beautiful Baby Eat Non-stop lost her paci and woke up crying  Wonderful Man I Married remedied the situation
• 7AM? (I'm not sure the time because the delirium had set in) - woken up by Sweet Sickie Face who again wanted to climb in my bed This time she was told yes (the family rule is she has to wait until the sun shines through the curtains) and she was sent over to Wonderful Man I Married 
• 7:05 - 8:00 faded in and out of sleep between questions, pokes, and demands from Sweet Sickie Face until Wonderful Man I Married got the two of them breakfast
• 8:35 Beautiful Baby Eat Non-stop woke up and was quite alarmed it had been so long since her last meal

~The End or, More Appropriately, The Beginning of the Day~

 

 

In a mostly unrelated matter, I was reading Cara-Deo today and was blessed by the quote, "It says desperation is better than despair. And where God's power begins."  I wanted to share it in case you might find it encouraging as well.

Now this sleepy and very silly mommy must go feed that beautiful baby again.

Smiles on a Sick Day

My oldest is sick.  She has the cutest little froggie voice right now.  Rainy inside days with a sick toddler and a baby in the midst of a growth spurt are not known to be full of smiles, but today I was thankful for the little things.  That made quite a difference.  The other, even bigger thing was getting some time with God.  Here are some of the things that made me smile today:

Coffee from my sweet husband

A no real reason phone call from my mom

Reading this awesome book to my sickie face

My beautiful girls (matching outfits c/o Nana)

 This super fun dress by Jelly the Pug I ordered for A

Even better?  Getting it from modnique for $13 instead of $36

Can't wait to see her in it!

Texting, FBing, & E-mailing with Janette, 

my best friend since we were 12

Sharing music I love with my littles

This "album cover" photo of Boo

Notice the drum around her neck while playing harmonica 

This post & just how much God loves ME

 

This hat

One of my babies might need one

I wonder if I could make it

and this song...

I hope your day was full of smiles too!

Pretty Sure

I'm pretty sure this is my lovin' man & I:

 

It's called Clink by Genevieve Santos 

You can find it and lots of other fantastic art at her etsy store, lepetitelefant.

Sharing

Read this.  I love it.  That's all.

"Every breath is a second chance"

That is a line from Switchfoot's new song "Your Love Is A Song."  I love it.  It is such a perfect reminder as a new year begins.  I usually don't do resolutions.  This year I've decided I'm going to.  Here are a few of them:

• Be more patient.  I guess really my resolution is to get more time with God so that more of the fruit of the Spirit grows in my life.
  
• Reconcile with my Wii Fit.  We had an argument a few months ago when it told me I'd gained 4 pounds since I'd started using it.  We haven't been on speaking terms since.
• Be the best wife & mom I can be (with God's help).
• Do more silly things just because.
• Show those around me just how much I love them and not be afraid to be vulnerable.
  

Good-bye 2009.  You were a good year all in all, but with some horribly difficult times.  Thank you, Lord, for being faithful to see us through another year!  Thank you for every new day and every "second chance."

"Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel Shall Come To Thee, Oh Israel"

This morning was rough.  It started out wonderfully.  My baby girl awoke as Peter was getting ready so he placed her next to me in our bed.  We both fell back to sleep snuggled up together.  The trouble began when we woke up just 25 minutes before we should have been leaving for church.  For anyone without a toddler, that is not nearly enough time to get ready.  My daughter is getting her canines in and is almost two.  These two facts alone can double our usual getting ready estimate.  The clearest picture of this is that it took nearly ten minutes to put her pants on.  I'm laughing about it now, but earlier I was not laughing.  One we were both dressed and ready I couldn't find my keys.  Once I found my keys I looked at the clock and found that church was ending in about a half hour.  Roughly the same amount of time it takes to get from our apartment to our church.  I was disappointed.  We were out of town last week & missed church so I really wanted to be there this morning.  When I don't make it to church I miss worshiping in community.  I miss seeing loved ones.  I miss hearing God's word preached.  This morning there was nothing I could do about the first two, but I could still hear God's word preached.  I pulled up iTunes & looked up John MacArthur (a pastor & author my Dad-in-Law respects greatly) and listened.  As I played the first sermon my toddler settled in and played quietly for the entire twenty-some minutes it took to listen.  It was such a blessing.  That being said, it is taking several attempts to listen to part two.  I'm including the first message in case it can bless you as well.

Rejoice Always, 1

Merry Christmas!

Yesterday's Quote

"Cheese has no business..."

"...being easy?"

---The first part was me & then Peter filled in where he thought I should be going with it

This Weeek

Here is a summary (in chronological order) of the past week and a bit of what's to come the rest of this one.

Low Points:

• Baby & I have been sick
• Had to miss couples' group breakfast, church, Bible study, AND women's study
• Not enough down time to get better quickly (Mom's only get down time when children are sleeping)
  
• Missing going to SF with Kerr & Arndis today (P got called in & the rest of us are still recovering)

High Points:

• Curled up in my favorite sickie outfit (complete with comfy footwear) and read a good book
  
• Fall weather got here!
• Got to hang out with Kelly, Kerr, & Gina  (Amazing to have Kel & Kerr in town at the same time!)
• Sent Tula off to her new home with Kelly in AZ
  
• Found my baby girl sitting on the couch with her hands folded and head down saying, "Daddy, Daddy, Uncle..."  She was praying for Peter & Richard.  Cutest thing I've ever seen.  
• Being silly with my hubbie 
• Listening to long unheard songs on my iTunes and remembering the wonderful people God has placed in my life over the years
  
• Will get to go see Poppa Bill, Momma Lynne, Deb, Ted, & my precious nephews

I'm ready to be done feeling like someone is standing on my face, but beyond that it has been a pretty great week.  I'm continuing my work on T.J.'s birthday gift.  I'm excited about it!  Her birthday was last week, but I wasn't done yet.  I may post about it once she's received it, but can't before then (it'd ruin the surprise).  Today we're going to focus on resting, getting better, and trying to get things done around the house.

Smile Inducing Goodness

A Sigh Of Relief (and more prayers)

First off, I want to thank everyone for the prayers, comments, and text messages (unfortunately I just got all of them because my phone was malfunctioning). Our appointment with the doctor went well. Our Babes was amazing and stood still for the examination - miraculous for a toddler. Our pediatrician thinks it is probably a cyst, hernia, or hematoma. He is not concerned right now because it hasn't grown and isn't causing her pain. He gave us a referral to a Pediatric Surgeon for a clearer diagnosis, but doesn't think we will need to do anything about it. I'll call tomorrow for an appointment so we can find out exactly what this is. I'm beyond relieved that they don't feel it is anything to be worried about. Peter and I have been paising God all afternoon/evening! I'm sorry I wasn't able to get this posted sooner. Peter had to do some work from home. It has been a long day. I'm exhausted, but so thankful that she is O.K. I'm going to go sleep soundly now. Thank you again, Friends. You are blessings to our family. I'll leave you with a shot of her playing with another favorite (and free) toy:

Peter's Favorite Quote Today

"Sometimes girls and monkeys think exactly alike."

---Curious George

Fighting Fear With Faith

Today I'm walking by faith. My little one has a follow up doctor's appointment at 2:30 to check a strange bump on her stomach. The first appointment sent me reeling when the doctor filling in for our regular pediatrician casually commented that there was "almost no chance it's cancer." It was a thought that hadn't even crossed my mind so all I heard at first was the C word and only later was able to appreciate the "almost no" part. She told us to keep an eye on it and come back in two weeks. The hope was that she'd just bumped herself on something and the spot was swelling that would go away. It's been two weeks and nothing has changed. I'm sad it hasn't disappeared, but pleased it hasn't grown. I've been praying through it and have been learning to lean on God in this. My fervent prayer is that it is nothing serious. I'm frightened that it is, but most of the time I can trust that it's not or that if it is God will carry us all through it. Honestly though, I don't want her to have to "go through" anything. She has an amazing joy, curiosity, and love of life. I want her life to be hard enough that she develops character, but easy enough that she holds onto her happy-go-lucky view of it. I guess that is what all parents want for their kids. So today I'm walking by faith. I'm pushing back the fear and I'm enjoying watching my precious baby girl climb in and out of the laundry basket for the seven thousandth time.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
1 Tim. 1:7

Blurb

I want to post all about my amazing birthday and the incredible people who made it that way, but I can't! I have a baby with a small sleep window and LOTS to do for the divine Mrs. Lee, her tiny Lee, & the baby shower of love. For now, thanks so much to everyone who made me feel so loved on (and before) my big day! Also,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KERR!!!

How Awesome Is That?

I got a package from Fed Ex today. This was odd since I hadn't ordered anything, but I didn't think much of it with my birthday coming. When I saw that it was from Pampered Chef I got excited. They have great products. As I opened the box and saw what was inside I burst out laughing. Peter looked somewhat puzzled. I held it up and he nodded knowingly. It was a new pitcher! Those still feeling somewhat quizzical should read my Pink Is The New Grout post. It was from Felicia. She's amazing and clearly has a fantastic sense of humor. I knew you would want to see it so here is my exciting, new, and fully functioning pitcher:It even came with recipes. Here is the one I'm going to make for my birthday:

Frosty Latte

Ingredients:

4 cups (1 L) vanilla or coffee ice cream, slightly softened 2 cups (500 mL) milk, well chilled 2 cups (500 mL) brewed coffee, cooled to room temperature

Directions:
1.	Scoop ice cream into Quick-Stir® Pitcher. Add milk and coffee. Cover pitcher with lid; plunge to mix. Serve immediately.

Incidentally, Felicia is a rep for them so if you need anything you should order it from her through this convenient link.

Gloriously Thwarted

My ever so relaxing week before my birthday fell through. Life got in the way. That is O.K. though, because it is full of other ways I'm getting to celebrate. I'm getting to honor people I love and be part of life experiences. Monday my family was in town and we got to have dinner together, run errands, and enjoy each other! My dad bought Boo a little pink lei for 27 cents and she thought it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever worn. Tuesday I put in several hours preparing for Stacy's baby shower. I'm really excited about it. Stacy and her baby deserve to be celebrated and I'm gad I'm getting to be part of doing this for her. Yesterday we spent time with Cathie before her move. We also got to go for a walk with my Dad-in-Law (who recently moved, but was visiting). Before that we took our little one to be part of a study at Stanford. I'm getting to see her come into her own more and more each day. Sometimes that means learning new words or skills and other times it means screaming and rolling on the floor. In the moment the former pleases me much more than the latter, but both mean she is learning about life and that is exhilarating. This week may have been somewhat unexpected, but it was in the very best way.

Completely Frivolous Post

I have begun my eBay empire (as Peter calls it). I just sold 3 things on ebay. I liked it. I'm pleased that people who appreciate them can have things I don't need anymore. I'm even more pleased they want to give me money for them.

Warning, rant to ensue.
Why is it the vast majority of intelligent/creative shows get canceled within the first two or three seasons, but junk like "Two & a Half Men" is still on? Here are just a few examples:

1. The Black Donnellys
2. Eli Stone
3. October Road
4. The Unusuals
   
5. Life
6. feel free to add to my list in comments (I know Talicia and Andrew were upset about "Pushing Daisies" - an emmy winning canceled show)
   

I'm mad that "Chuck" was even being considered for cancellation (only to be saved by Subway). Also awful, is the fact that most shows don't get much notice that they are going to be canceled so the writers never get a chance to give any kind of closure. A perfect example of this is "Gilmore Girls." It was a great show, but it had possibly the worst (and most thrown together) end in TV history. I guess I should be thankful that there was some kind of end. Most of the shows I listed above didn't even get that. "October Road" got a ten minute wrap up on the DVD of their last season. Most of the others didn't even get that. I think the problem (other than lowbrow humor being what America seems to be demanding) is that the rating system is broken. I don't know many people who watch TV at the time it is actually aired anymore. Most people watch online, record the shows to watch them later, or wait to see them when they are released on DVD. How do we get these things considered in the rating system? Is there a reason they are being overlooked? I'm betting it is because the adverts don't get watched when people watch in these ways (though you are usually forced to if you watch them online). I'm done now. Thank you for humoring me in my crankiness.

Now off to bed. This last week has been a rough one in the sleep department.

Bad Habits, Brave Mean Reds, & Home

I have a lot of bad habits. Shocked? Probably not. As Stephanie's post touched on the other day I pick at & bite the skin around my nails (no, not my nails, just my cuticles & skin...ew). I'm working on quitting, but I still do it. I can be very selfish. I leave the TV on with a show paused for upwards of an hour on a regular basis. I'm usually late. I pile paper all over my house and rarely go through it. I check my voicemail on a bi weekly basis (or so). I throw pity parties. I interrupt people. None of that is what I'm going to write about. Tonight's bad habit in the spot light is (insert drum roll here) I hide. If I'm feeling down all I want to do is curl up in my house. Sometimes it is just that simple, sometimes it's deeper than that (due to a very bad past relationship I'd rather avoid people than chance that they might see me cry, another thing I'm working on...sort of). Tonight I have a semi hormone induced case of the brave mean reds. I'm not scared, I'm sad, down for no real reason. Where am I then? Home. Some wonderful friends are downstairs BarBQing. Peter & I were invited to join them. He headed down. I, on the other hand, used Lacie's heating pad on my unhappy back, watched an episode of "Mental," and moped a bit. I love my friends. I love spending time with them. I used to always want to be out. I used to be one of the most social people I knew (this can be confirmed by asking any of my college friends). Now, not so much. I still love being goofy and having a good time. I still have dreams and adventures. Yet, when the blues hit I'd rather be the only one home (Boo's here, but she's in bed). Home is my bubble in a lot of ways. I like it here. I like being out, but on a rough night this feels safer. Maybe it is good thing in some ways. I think the best thing would be to put myself out there and just be honest about how I'm feeling, but I don't think I'm quite there yet. I spent a lot of years (college included) being dishonest about how I was doing. In high school and early college if I was down I self medicated until I wasn't anymore. That went badly. In later college and the years after, I was doing much better and was genuinely happy for the most part, but when I wasn't I faked it. I had a few extremely close friends I was honest with, but for the most part that was only on a one on one basis. In groups I couldn't bring myself to do it. I think now I'm more honest with myself about how I'm doing and unwilling to fake being O.K. when I'm not. I know myself well enough to know if I walk out that door I'll revert. I'll fall right back into pretending I'm fine. Instead I don't walk out the door. Is that worse or better? I'm choosing to believe it is better because I'm not pretending. Even if I'm being authentic alone, I'm still being authentic. I guess that shows growth. I guess even posting this shows growth. My lessons learned should be tempered with things I'm still wrestling with. I'll keep wrestling. This wrestling was as much rambling and fluid thought as anything else. Thanks for bearing with me.

Medical Insurance...Do Share

Peter & I have a meeting tomorrow to get our medical insurance figured out. Peter's main job is a contractor so we have to get our own medical insurance. We currently have a Blue Shield P.P.O. that has been wonderful medically but more expensive than we can afford (read, premiums more than our rent and we still owe on our 18 month old daughter's birth - time in the N.I.C.U. is expensive, but priceless). Recently our monthly premiums were raised again and we decided it was time for a change. We have looked at H.S.A.s, high deductible P.P.O.s, Kaiser, and have thought about an H.M.O.

I've never had an H.M.O. so I know almost nothing about them. I know the main difference is that my General Practitioner would have to refer me to any other specialists, but not much else. What are the groups in this area? Do they include any of my current doctors? Would we still get to go to Good Sam?

I've never had Kaiser either, but at least 3/4 of what I've heard have been horror stories. After watching how they've handled Lenny's Grandpa after his stroke this past week I'm honestly somewhat frightened for their patients and have no desire to be one of them. Am I wrong? Are there others of you out there who have had wonderful experiences with them?

Please share. If you live in California (or used to) let me know what medical insurance you have or have had and what kind of reviews you'd give it. If you are involved with the medical community please share your thoughts. The more information we can get when making this decision the better. Thanks in advance for your help!!