For Today

I read this this morning and it spoke to me, because it is so very true.

"It's a good life, Honey, if you don't grow weary."  

-Alexa Woodward

It reminded me of this:

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  

- Gal. 6:9

Updates, Creations, & Searches

What am I up to these days?  Lots!  Here's a quick run down.

• I'm nurturing my 6 month & 3 year old daughters, working on being a more loving wife, and seeking God.  I feel like I'm doing better in these areas than I have been in a long time.
• I'm considering working out.  For some of you this may be a no brainer, but for me it's not.  I hate working out.  I've never been a sporty girl.  When I was younger I loved no work out exercise like walking places, skateboarding, etc.  Lately I've been much too inactive and I don't like it.  I don't like the way I feel or the way it looks on me.  I know myself well enough to know I need to find something I'll enjoy or I'll never stick with it.  I enjoy out Wii Fit+, but it's broken right now.  Any suggestions?
  
• I'm crafting for the first time in a while.  I had been knitting a lot, but have put that on hold for now.  I recently began creating jewelry.  I'm loving it!  It's fun, easy, and the pieces make fantastic accessories.  Here's a pic:

• I'm researching tattoo artists in the bay area and planning to get my tattoo for my birthday in August.  If you have a suggestion let me know.  I need someone who is good with lettering and, of course, works in a clean, safe shop. 
• I've been feeling inspired to start sewing again.  I'd like to start making things for my girls.  I'm basically a beginning sewer.  I took sewing in jr. high and made several things.  In high school I made one of my halloween costumes by following a pattern.  I hadn't used a machine in ages until two years ago when Kacey helped me make a quilt for my mom.  Now I want to get a sewing machine.  Anyone have suggestions for a good machine for beginners?  I'm not even sure how to start comparing them or what to look for.  Here's a pic of me holding up the quilt I mentioned:

• I've fallen into the busy day to day and haven't been spending time on myself.  I want to remedy this for myself, but also for my family.  I want to look nice for my husband.  I want to set an example for my girls.  I'm teaching them that inner beauty comes from loving the Lord.  It shines through love and kindness that glorifies God.  It comes from your character and it is the most important kind of beauty.  I'm also teaching them that caring for yourself and your appearance is important too.  The fact that it is less important doesn't mean it is unimportant.  The best way I can teach them these things is by my example.  To do that I need something easy so I'm working on a "five minute face" by trying new make-up tips and products.  I'll let you know what I find.  Please share if you have favorites I should check out.  

Many Thanks

I just wanted to say thank you to all those who have out poured support, love, and prayers since my Trouble post.  I'm doing much better.  The mastitis seems to have passed and I'm only having twinges of pain here & there now.  We have been able to feed L without supplementing with formula for the last week thanks to Peter letting me nap & rest as I've needed to & using fenugreek.  Being rested & built up by God has made me feel more confident both in general & as a mom.  My girls have also helped.  My youngest gives me giant smiles every time she wakes up and sees me.  My oldest is growing in new ways all the time.  Last night she was trying on swim suits for her new lessons starting today and all of a sudden she went leaping through the air and yelled, "I'm a rock star!"  It was both a precious thing & a challenge for me.  It was precious to see her so carefree and confident.  It was a challenge because I feel nothing like a rock star when I put on a swim suit.  It made me wonder when we women lose that confidence and challenged me to reclaim it.  Being the mom of a three year old girl is amazing that way.  It is growing me as a woman as well as a mom.  We, of course, have battles of the wills, but part of that is her developing into her own person.  I remind myself regularly that her willfulness not only gives me opportunities to learn patience, but also is growing her into a more confident little girl.  I want her to be able to make up her own mind and not be a follower.  It's just very hard when I need her to obey as well.  Teaching her to respect us as her parents and do as she is told, but still have a mind of her own is not an easy task.  I'd totally welcome any advice on the balance others might have to offer.  Another thing I've found encouraging as of late has been the blogs of other believers and moms.  Here are a few I've been really enjoying:

• Sometimes Sweet (she is also a fashion inspiration to me as I'm working on the project of finding my style again)
• Steph in the Suburbs 
• Mommy Needs Coffee (me too)
• Gathered from Afar
• Cara - Deo
• Trouble Bound : A Better Life (an awesome blog & reminder of God's incredible faithfulness) 
• Storing Up Treasures
• The Leaky Boob

The music of Kendall Payne has been encouraging as well.

I must draw this to a close.  It's time for the "Rock Star" to go to her first swim lesson without mom or dad by her side in the pool!

"Ooooh, Corey, Accessories!"

**For those interested the dresses from the last post are from Mod Cloth, Old Navy, Park Place Vintage, Pin Up Girl Clothing, Victoria's Secret, Steady Clothing, & Ruche.

I plan on continuing this style series for a while, but it will be on and off for the most part.  This time, however, I'm doing two in a row.  From now on I'll include links in case anyone likes the items as much as I do.  Now for accessories....

 True Love Cardigan

Cherub Docs

Necklace with my girls' names

Leather Cuff

 

Cascade Earrings

I want to share something else I've discovered.  I celebrated the marriage of two dear friends this weekend.   

Congrats, LB and Bobby!

At their reception I had the most amazing cupcake!  It was a mocha cupcake from Just Baked by Julie.  If you're in the bay area I encourage you to try them!  Amazing!!

Reclaiming My Style

I'm starting on a quest to reclaim my style.  I've been spending far to much time in yoga pants and hoodies or jeans with nursing tops.  I do have a sense of style...somewhere hidden under this old PT sweatshirt Kerr handed down to me.  While my old Walter Payton jersey tee will always be part of my style it needs to be expanded upon.  To do this I'm window shopping.  I've started with dresses because I love them, but rarely wear them. 

 

 

 

 

Comfort

What brings you comfort?  Not on a grand scale like the beautiful, all encompassing comfort we find in the reassurance God is there and cares deeply about all you are facing, but on a small scale.  I mean the little comforts that make such a difference.  For me it's watching my 3 month old blow bubbles or hearing my three year old tell me she loves me.  It's hearing, "Touch of Grey" by The Grateful Dead or the way my ancient Dr. Marten's cradle my feet (Peter is convinced they are beat up beyond wearing in public, but I'm not so sure).  It's laughing with friends who have known me long enough to have seen me at my worst and knowing they still love me.  It's remembering I'm a mom, but knowing that part of me is merging with all the other dynamics of who I am, not becoming my single defining role.  It's walking in the rain.  All of these things are filled with the beautiful promise of God's grace and a new day.  They are reminders of the joy we can find in such a broken place.

Today's Lesson

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." 

---Gal 6:9

Today I'm weary, but still doing good.

Every Day

"Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day He carries us in His arms." 

---Ps 68:19

Unexpected Truth

My daughter brought me to tears today.  We were sitting eating lunch and discussing going over to a friend's mom's house later in the day.  It was a normal conversation, but her simple and sweet statement left me needing to "get something from the kitchen" before she saw that I was about to lose it.

You see, the friend we were discussing lost her dad when she was sixteen.  A parent's death is always a horrible tragedy, but she lost him in one of the worst ways you can lose a loved one.  Knowing this and the pain it has brought my friend I was left scrambling when my two year old innocently asked, "Where her daddy?"  I recovered quickly and told her, "He's gone, Baby.  He went away."  She thought about this a moment before replying, "He's probably at work."  In her world anytime a daddy isn't around he is at work (now and then he is playing golf, but only rarely).  She then went on to say, "She misses him...sometimes she cries for him."  Knowing how true those words were broke my heart.  Knowing my little one hasn't had to begin to understand that sometimes daddies go away and don't come back is bittersweet.  I'm incredibly thankful she doesn't know it and yet I know the day will come when she has to learn that heart wrenching truth, even if it isn't first hand.  Her words crushed me anew for my friend's loss as well.  I know she has grieved and grown immeasurably from the girl who first lost the most important man in her life, but I don't think anyone finishes grieving a parent's death.  It is a continual loss.  I heard that in the little voice of my toddler today as she spoke those words, "She misses him...sometimes she cries for him."

It's Been A Long Time Coming

I've been remiss.  I'm sorry to those of you who follow this blog.  Most of you already know why.  I've been incredibly busy chasing my precious toddler, going back to work one day a week to help out (the center was having to close that day for lack of a counselor supervisor), and enjoying (for the most part) my pregnancy with our second child.  It has been a very exciting time!  I am 16 weeks along right now.  This pregnancy has been a wonderful, but very different experience than my pregnancy with our first.  I can laugh about it more now that I'm in my second trimester, the "sweet spot" of pregnancy.  What I've learned so far is:

1. Being pregnant and the stay-at-home mom of a toddler is exponentially harder than being pregnant with your first while working.  I told Peter that being first trimester exhausted while mothering a toddler was the hardest job I've ever had.
2. Lesson one was very concerning to me considering I want more children so I asked a mom of four how she did it.  What I learned was very valuable.  She said, "Some days my husband would come home from work and I would tell him, 'Everyone is alive.  That's all you can ask of me today."  The lesson?  You do the best you can and you honor God.
3. Each pregnancy is different.  This can be scary, but it can also be wonderful.  It means just because I had some complications last time doesn't mean I'll have them this time.  Each pregnancy is similar in other ways.  Knowing what to expect this time meant I got to start feeling my little one move weeks and weeks earlier this time.  That is one of my favorite parts!
4. As with all of life, you don't know what you don't know.  Be open to learning.

I'm enjoying this pregnancy and trying to take in little moments here and there to enjoy it.  This time around I know how quickly it flies by.

What I Learned Today...

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" 

---Matthew 4:4

"Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel Shall Come To Thee, Oh Israel"

This morning was rough.  It started out wonderfully.  My baby girl awoke as Peter was getting ready so he placed her next to me in our bed.  We both fell back to sleep snuggled up together.  The trouble began when we woke up just 25 minutes before we should have been leaving for church.  For anyone without a toddler, that is not nearly enough time to get ready.  My daughter is getting her canines in and is almost two.  These two facts alone can double our usual getting ready estimate.  The clearest picture of this is that it took nearly ten minutes to put her pants on.  I'm laughing about it now, but earlier I was not laughing.  One we were both dressed and ready I couldn't find my keys.  Once I found my keys I looked at the clock and found that church was ending in about a half hour.  Roughly the same amount of time it takes to get from our apartment to our church.  I was disappointed.  We were out of town last week & missed church so I really wanted to be there this morning.  When I don't make it to church I miss worshiping in community.  I miss seeing loved ones.  I miss hearing God's word preached.  This morning there was nothing I could do about the first two, but I could still hear God's word preached.  I pulled up iTunes & looked up John MacArthur (a pastor & author my Dad-in-Law respects greatly) and listened.  As I played the first sermon my toddler settled in and played quietly for the entire twenty-some minutes it took to listen.  It was such a blessing.  That being said, it is taking several attempts to listen to part two.  I'm including the first message in case it can bless you as well.

Rejoice Always, 1

Merry Christmas!

Little Joys

My brother was in town for the weekend and this morning we dragged our exhausted selves out the door to take my daughter for a walk.  We meandered along talking while my toddler rode in her stroller.  When we were a little more than half way home we wandered through the park and A wanted to get out and walk.  I let her and she ended up walking then running then walking again the rest of the several blocks home.  It was amazing.  I loved watching her explore.  She picked up acorns and stuffed her pockets with them.  She greeted dogs out on walks with their owners.  She shrieked, "run, 'mon, 'mon" (her shortened version of 'come on') and ran gleefully as Richard chased her along.  She watched squirrels run up and down trees.  She wandered into patches of tall grass and bent down to touch it just to see what it felt like.  She counted things just because she can now.  When we got home she was exhausted and asked for an early nap, but she had loved every minute of the morning.  It was a reminder to me of the joy we can find in God's creation.  It was a reminder of how often I let the day get away from me without letting myself really experience the wonders that I'm surrounded by.  It was a challenge to me (and I hope it can be to you as well) to enjoy every day and all the tiny miracles scattered like acorns along the way.

"Live From An Authentic Place"

I heard that tonight (spoken by Rick Allen of Def Leppard) and it struck me.  I've been working on it for a while now and I feel like I'm getting better at it.  I've said before that I spent too much time pretending all was well even when it wasn't, but part of what God has been teaching me as of late is that living authentically means sharing my joys as well.  It means connecting with people.  I don't think I have invested enough in people in the last few years.  My friendships are dear to me, but I don't make (or sometimes, unfortunately, have) time for them.  I think in some ways I've gotten lazy if I'm honest, but life has also changed.  I feel disjointed at times because there are so many amazing people around me that I love deeply.  I want to spend time with all of them, but, realistically, I can't.  I feel like because of that I have many shallow relationships instead of a few deep ones.  Thankfully, I've been blessed with some great friends that I can pick up with after a long time and feel like we saw each other yesterday.  Unfortunately, we don't get to live day to day life together.  All this to say that God has been teaching me that I need those connections.  He has also been reminding me that most of all I need Him.  He is the one who makes me feel whole.  He is the one who is all sufficient.  I haven't been making time for Him lately and I feel the drain of it.  I need more than quick prayers before meals, bed, and as I fly through my day.  I need to really connect with Him.  My marriage, my child, and my loved ones will receive the overflowing blessings if I do.

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort" 

---2 Cor. 1:3

1 Portland Lesson

"...nostalgia is just memory without the pain."

---Leah Kaplan

Note To Self II

Lessons in Contentment, Day 3

Lesson One (A.K.A. Today's Funny Story):
This morning Peter's car randomly rolled and was blocking a nearby apartment building's driveway. The cops were called. We got a $50 ticket. The car would have been towed, costing us $1,500, if Peter hadn't randomly decided to go running just as the cop showed up. Praise God for the tiny prompts He gives us! My lesson in this was how crazy it was that I focused first on the $50 we now owe instead of the $1,450 we don't.

Lesson Two (A.K.A. Today's Update):
I'm filling in at my old job today. It is a wonderful place. I'm getting the chance to spend time with women who are "soul refreshing" friends. The people who just seeing their smile makes your burdens feel lighter and life feel easier. It is such a blessing. It reminds me of all my other friends who do this for me and how I need to make more time for them. It reminds me that I'm blessed to have them. I miss my little girl, but I know she & her daddy are having a blast and being here today will help me be a better mommy.

Lesson Three (A.K.A. The Really Important One):
Some of you may remember my friend Donna. We used to work together here until I had my daughter. Wednesdays were the day we worked together. She's not here today because she is at chemo. Instead of getting to hear how things are from her I'm reading an e-mail. Her joy and upbeat personality still come through. I don't think she would mind if I share some of her wise words:

"Every day has a fork in the road. We can choose to travel down the road of self-piy, self-introspection, or self-absorption. The problem is that fork always leads to a dead end. It leaves us weary, discouraged and out of options because we were never meant to live life on our own. And we certainly don't have all the answers.

On the other hand, we can choose gratitude. Admittedly, this is the road less traveled. But then, that means a smoother ride - less bumps, potholes, and loose debris. This road always leads to somewhere better than where we are. It lifts us out of the mundane and invites us into the Divine.

Strangely, if we don't make the choice, it will be made for us by circumstances. Most of us are like cars with our wheels out of alignment. We automatically drift towards bitterness. Gratitude realigns our souls and keeps us on the right road."

I'll end with the same verse she ended her e-mail with:

"Be joyful always...give thanks in all circumstances"
1 Thes. 5:16-18

Lessons In Contentment, Day 2

I had just finished getting everything prepared to take a much needed shower...

Let's take a moment right here. What does "everything prepared" mean? The moms out there know. It means your home, yourself, and your toddler. For the record, this is harder and more time consuming than it sounds.

...when I find out that the water has been turned off...again...with no notice. Arg. Where is that Note to Self I wrote? Where is that cheery attitude I had yesterday when this happened? I'm sure I'll find them, but for now I'm ticked. I don't want to take my daughter, my dirty hair, and I out to do errands sans shower.

Wait, here's my note. I found it while going to the kitchen where I also found my sense of humor and my daughter dipping a toy car in the cats' water bowl.

More Excitement!!

I have more good news that I feel the need to share:

1. Stephanie's blog totally blessed and is helping me.
2. I got a coupon for a free pint of Starbucks Ice Cream!!
3. I'M GETTING A PACKAGE FROM AMAYA TOMORROW!!! If you didn't know, I love mail and surprises!!
4. My birthday is coming!
   
5. Peter bought me cookie dough!
6. Talicia is visiting soon!!!
   

For Future Reference

It truly is.