1 Portland Lesson

"...nostalgia is just memory without the pain."

---Leah Kaplan

I Might Be That Fairy

I'm home from Portland ow.  I'll do an update soon about my great trip and the comedy of errors that was coming home.  For now, enjoy the amazing card my wonderful Theresa sent me:

Smile Inducing Goodness

A Sigh Of Relief (and more prayers)

First off, I want to thank everyone for the prayers, comments, and text messages (unfortunately I just got all of them because my phone was malfunctioning). Our appointment with the doctor went well. Our Babes was amazing and stood still for the examination - miraculous for a toddler. Our pediatrician thinks it is probably a cyst, hernia, or hematoma. He is not concerned right now because it hasn't grown and isn't causing her pain. He gave us a referral to a Pediatric Surgeon for a clearer diagnosis, but doesn't think we will need to do anything about it. I'll call tomorrow for an appointment so we can find out exactly what this is. I'm beyond relieved that they don't feel it is anything to be worried about. Peter and I have been paising God all afternoon/evening! I'm sorry I wasn't able to get this posted sooner. Peter had to do some work from home. It has been a long day. I'm exhausted, but so thankful that she is O.K. I'm going to go sleep soundly now. Thank you again, Friends. You are blessings to our family. I'll leave you with a shot of her playing with another favorite (and free) toy:

Thank You, Amy

A dear friend just sent me this as an encouragement. It was exactly what I needed so I thought I'd share...

Note To Self II

Peter's Favorite Quote Today

"Sometimes girls and monkeys think exactly alike."

---Curious George

Fighting Fear With Faith

Today I'm walking by faith. My little one has a follow up doctor's appointment at 2:30 to check a strange bump on her stomach. The first appointment sent me reeling when the doctor filling in for our regular pediatrician casually commented that there was "almost no chance it's cancer." It was a thought that hadn't even crossed my mind so all I heard at first was the C word and only later was able to appreciate the "almost no" part. She told us to keep an eye on it and come back in two weeks. The hope was that she'd just bumped herself on something and the spot was swelling that would go away. It's been two weeks and nothing has changed. I'm sad it hasn't disappeared, but pleased it hasn't grown. I've been praying through it and have been learning to lean on God in this. My fervent prayer is that it is nothing serious. I'm frightened that it is, but most of the time I can trust that it's not or that if it is God will carry us all through it. Honestly though, I don't want her to have to "go through" anything. She has an amazing joy, curiosity, and love of life. I want her life to be hard enough that she develops character, but easy enough that she holds onto her happy-go-lucky view of it. I guess that is what all parents want for their kids. So today I'm walking by faith. I'm pushing back the fear and I'm enjoying watching my precious baby girl climb in and out of the laundry basket for the seven thousandth time.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
1 Tim. 1:7

True That!

"There's something weird about every family. That's what makes America great."

---Psych

Blurb

I want to post all about my amazing birthday and the incredible people who made it that way, but I can't! I have a baby with a small sleep window and LOTS to do for the divine Mrs. Lee, her tiny Lee, & the baby shower of love. For now, thanks so much to everyone who made me feel so loved on (and before) my big day! Also,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KERR!!!

Only 2 More Days!!

How Awesome Is That?

I got a package from Fed Ex today. This was odd since I hadn't ordered anything, but I didn't think much of it with my birthday coming. When I saw that it was from Pampered Chef I got excited. They have great products. As I opened the box and saw what was inside I burst out laughing. Peter looked somewhat puzzled. I held it up and he nodded knowingly. It was a new pitcher! Those still feeling somewhat quizzical should read my Pink Is The New Grout post. It was from Felicia. She's amazing and clearly has a fantastic sense of humor. I knew you would want to see it so here is my exciting, new, and fully functioning pitcher:It even came with recipes. Here is the one I'm going to make for my birthday:

Frosty Latte

Ingredients:

4 cups (1 L) vanilla or coffee ice cream, slightly softened 2 cups (500 mL) milk, well chilled 2 cups (500 mL) brewed coffee, cooled to room temperature

Directions:
1.	Scoop ice cream into Quick-Stir® Pitcher. Add milk and coffee. Cover pitcher with lid; plunge to mix. Serve immediately.

Incidentally, Felicia is a rep for them so if you need anything you should order it from her through this convenient link.

Had To Share

I love this.
I thought the world (or at least my readers and facebook friends) should know.

Jut wondering

Where did the cent sign go on the keyboard? Wasn't it there when I was a kid? I'm virtually positive it was.

Gloriously Thwarted

My ever so relaxing week before my birthday fell through. Life got in the way. That is O.K. though, because it is full of other ways I'm getting to celebrate. I'm getting to honor people I love and be part of life experiences. Monday my family was in town and we got to have dinner together, run errands, and enjoy each other! My dad bought Boo a little pink lei for 27 cents and she thought it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever worn. Tuesday I put in several hours preparing for Stacy's baby shower. I'm really excited about it. Stacy and her baby deserve to be celebrated and I'm gad I'm getting to be part of doing this for her. Yesterday we spent time with Cathie before her move. We also got to go for a walk with my Dad-in-Law (who recently moved, but was visiting). Before that we took our little one to be part of a study at Stanford. I'm getting to see her come into her own more and more each day. Sometimes that means learning new words or skills and other times it means screaming and rolling on the floor. In the moment the former pleases me much more than the latter, but both mean she is learning about life and that is exhilarating. This week may have been somewhat unexpected, but it was in the very best way.

Completely Frivolous Post

I have begun my eBay empire (as Peter calls it). I just sold 3 things on ebay. I liked it. I'm pleased that people who appreciate them can have things I don't need anymore. I'm even more pleased they want to give me money for them.

Warning, rant to ensue.
Why is it the vast majority of intelligent/creative shows get canceled within the first two or three seasons, but junk like "Two & a Half Men" is still on? Here are just a few examples:

1. The Black Donnellys
2. Eli Stone
3. October Road
4. The Unusuals
   
5. Life
6. feel free to add to my list in comments (I know Talicia and Andrew were upset about "Pushing Daisies" - an emmy winning canceled show)
   

I'm mad that "Chuck" was even being considered for cancellation (only to be saved by Subway). Also awful, is the fact that most shows don't get much notice that they are going to be canceled so the writers never get a chance to give any kind of closure. A perfect example of this is "Gilmore Girls." It was a great show, but it had possibly the worst (and most thrown together) end in TV history. I guess I should be thankful that there was some kind of end. Most of the shows I listed above didn't even get that. "October Road" got a ten minute wrap up on the DVD of their last season. Most of the others didn't even get that. I think the problem (other than lowbrow humor being what America seems to be demanding) is that the rating system is broken. I don't know many people who watch TV at the time it is actually aired anymore. Most people watch online, record the shows to watch them later, or wait to see them when they are released on DVD. How do we get these things considered in the rating system? Is there a reason they are being overlooked? I'm betting it is because the adverts don't get watched when people watch in these ways (though you are usually forced to if you watch them online). I'm done now. Thank you for humoring me in my crankiness.

Now off to bed. This last week has been a rough one in the sleep department.

Picking Up The Pen

I used to be a poet. That sounds grandiose, but it's not. I used to write poetry. I haven't written a poem in ages. I'm almost positive the last thing a wrote was a poem to Amaya's father. If I'm correct, that was roughly five years ago. Before that I was nearly always writing. If you want to see a few things I wrote, feel free. A lot of my writing was born out of confusion, irony, longing, joy, or sadness. I still experience those, but I guess I process them differently now. I've been mulling over trying to start writing again. We'll see what comes of it. For tonight, here is what did:

Soft rain and strong music mingle in my ears
Flirting with the silence of the night.

Already There

"It is the fool who fails to return to the place of his last happiness."

--October Road

Bad Habits, Brave Mean Reds, & Home

I have a lot of bad habits. Shocked? Probably not. As Stephanie's post touched on the other day I pick at & bite the skin around my nails (no, not my nails, just my cuticles & skin...ew). I'm working on quitting, but I still do it. I can be very selfish. I leave the TV on with a show paused for upwards of an hour on a regular basis. I'm usually late. I pile paper all over my house and rarely go through it. I check my voicemail on a bi weekly basis (or so). I throw pity parties. I interrupt people. None of that is what I'm going to write about. Tonight's bad habit in the spot light is (insert drum roll here) I hide. If I'm feeling down all I want to do is curl up in my house. Sometimes it is just that simple, sometimes it's deeper than that (due to a very bad past relationship I'd rather avoid people than chance that they might see me cry, another thing I'm working on...sort of). Tonight I have a semi hormone induced case of the brave mean reds. I'm not scared, I'm sad, down for no real reason. Where am I then? Home. Some wonderful friends are downstairs BarBQing. Peter & I were invited to join them. He headed down. I, on the other hand, used Lacie's heating pad on my unhappy back, watched an episode of "Mental," and moped a bit. I love my friends. I love spending time with them. I used to always want to be out. I used to be one of the most social people I knew (this can be confirmed by asking any of my college friends). Now, not so much. I still love being goofy and having a good time. I still have dreams and adventures. Yet, when the blues hit I'd rather be the only one home (Boo's here, but she's in bed). Home is my bubble in a lot of ways. I like it here. I like being out, but on a rough night this feels safer. Maybe it is good thing in some ways. I think the best thing would be to put myself out there and just be honest about how I'm feeling, but I don't think I'm quite there yet. I spent a lot of years (college included) being dishonest about how I was doing. In high school and early college if I was down I self medicated until I wasn't anymore. That went badly. In later college and the years after, I was doing much better and was genuinely happy for the most part, but when I wasn't I faked it. I had a few extremely close friends I was honest with, but for the most part that was only on a one on one basis. In groups I couldn't bring myself to do it. I think now I'm more honest with myself about how I'm doing and unwilling to fake being O.K. when I'm not. I know myself well enough to know if I walk out that door I'll revert. I'll fall right back into pretending I'm fine. Instead I don't walk out the door. Is that worse or better? I'm choosing to believe it is better because I'm not pretending. Even if I'm being authentic alone, I'm still being authentic. I guess that shows growth. I guess even posting this shows growth. My lessons learned should be tempered with things I'm still wrestling with. I'll keep wrestling. This wrestling was as much rambling and fluid thought as anything else. Thanks for bearing with me.

Thank You!

Thanks for all the feedback on the bomber jacket for A's costume. The authentic style won by a landslide. It was my favorite too. It's been purchased and came today. She was a little unsure why Mommy was putting a huge coat on her in 80 degree weather, but was a good sport and wore it long enough for a quick photo. Here she is: