- Be more patient. I guess really my resolution is to get more time with God so that more of the fruit of the Spirit grows in my life.
- Reconcile with my Wii Fit. We had an argument a few months ago when it told me I'd gained 4 pounds since I'd started using it. We haven't been on speaking terms since.
- Be the best wife & mom I can be (with God's help).
- Do more silly things just because.
- Show those around me just how much I love them and not be afraid to be vulnerable.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Side note - she has recently begun calling out to me in Italian, "Mamma mia...mammma mia...maaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmma miiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaa!" I think it is hilarious and charming.
Another part of it has been that there have been so many big events. In my exhaustion typing this has caused my mind to burst out with, "Seasons Change" by Expose. I may be too tired to complete this post. I'll share anyway and I'll try to come back to it soon.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Rejoice Always, 1
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
I'm still contemplating a tattoo. I want the theme to be unconditional love. If you can think of a line, phrase, pic that exemplifies me please post it so I can include it in the ideas I'm mulling over.
I love wishlists. We've been over this. My lists are full of things I don't need, but still love thinking about. I think they are the most fun right before birthdays & Christmas because of all the possibility. Currently there are a few things I've been drooling over. One of them is in my "lately" list to the right. I saw it at Nordstrom tonight and now I'm longing for it. Gorgeous and fun while still pulling off sophistication. I'm also loving Hobo's Lauren wallet in Mogano. My Sephora wishlist is bursting. Amaya got me one of the fragrances I'd been wanting - Saint by Kat Von D. The other one I'm wanting is Unconditional Love. Sorry, for all the silly gushing. Amaya & I wandered the mall and I got all starry eyed.
Heart to Heart International
Community Pregnancy Centers
Living Water International
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
While I write my blog mostly for myself I still find myself hungry for interaction. I find myself longing to know someone out there is reading and caring what I'm thinking. I check my blog for comments regularly. I link my blog to my facebook notes so I can receive comments there as well. Today one of my entries received two "likes" and it made me smile.
I haven't spent much of my life being insecure. When I first moved to California I went through a time of being so shy I wanted to fade into nonexistence. So much so that I used to "cut" recess and hide under my desk to read. Eventually it got better and I made more friends. Suddenly in Jr. High I burst from my shell and never looked back. Throughout high school and college I was very self assured. I, of course, dealt with the usual insecurities in relationships (sometimes more than the usual), but overall I knew who I was and what I wanted. I've felt much less that way since becoming a mom. I know there are a million reasons for this (it's the most wonderful yet hardest job I've ever had, I've put on a few pounds, I'm finding the balance between the various roles in my life, etc). Writing makes me feel more secure. It has been part of me for years. Whether it was diaries, poetry, essays, or ramblings it has been a way for me to sort through my feelings. It has also been a way for me to share those feelings and better understand the feelings of others. I guess it makes me feel more myself.
Blogging is much like the other mediums in many ways except that you are rarely present when it is being read. It leaves you little chance to experience the readers' response. This has been hard for me. It has been difficult not to see or hear a response. I find myself longing for any kind of interaction with what I've written, any feedback - good or bad (but mostly good if I'm honest). At times it has made me question my writing or, more accurately, my writing of a blog. I'm still deciding how I feel about taking so much of myself and placing it out into the world so publicly. I think I am more for sharing in intimate settings like poetry readings and time with friends. Then again, I suppose if all writers were this way we'd have no books.
Kelly and I sat across from one another in eighth grade science. We've been close ever since. We saw each other through the best and worst of high school. We helped each other grapple with things fourteen, fifteen, and sixteen year olds should never have to face. We built the sort of bonds that make you sisters no matter the passage of time. Kel moved to Arizona after shortly after we graduated and, although we visited regularly for a few years, in the end we floated in and out of one another's lives. This time it had been two years since we'd seen each other.
Kerr and I met in junior high as well. We started to get close when he & Dom would cut church and walk to my house on Sunday mornings. It wasn't until freshman year, however, that we became best friends. Strangely enough, I remember the exact moment that cinched it. I was fourteen and he was fifteen (our birthdays are back to back) and it was at a party at Raf's. I was there for him in a moment of need. After that we were there for each other, period. Over the last eighteen years our lives have changed and gone in different directions, but there has never been a moment when we couldn't call the other. Kerr had been home several months back, but we never get to see enough of each other when he is here and there is always a sadness when he has to go back to Texas.
The weekend after Kelly and Kerr's visits I got to see my cousin Bart for the first time in twelve years. Bart & I are only a few months apart in age. We grew up near each other until we were about eight years old and our families moved. His to Wisconsin and mine to California. From then on we lived half way and, at times, all the way across the country from each other. We'd see each other every few years and it'd be like no time had passed at all. I can't believe this time it had been twelve years, long enough for me to finish college, him to be stationed overseas more than once, us to both get married, and for me to have a child.
What I wanted to write about was that moment you first see a loved one after much too much time has passed. It is the moment you first lay eyes on them when it fully hits you just how much you've missed them. You are always aware that you miss them when you think of them, but life keeps going and you accept that you don't get to see them. You stop really thinking about the fact that they are no longer part of your everyday life, though you'd like them to be. All of that dulls until the moment you see them again. All of a sudden it washes over you how much you've missed them and how glad you are that they have been in your life. I felt so blessed to get to have three of those moments within a week. Kelly, Kerr, and Bart, I love you guys more than you know. Boppa, Momma, Richard, Aunties, Uncles, Cousins, Talicia, Amaya, Janette, and a few others, I'm waiting for those moments. I love you and I can't wait until I see you next!!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
- Baby & I have been sick
- Had to miss couples' group breakfast, church, Bible study, AND women's study
- Not enough down time to get better quickly (Mom's only get down time when children are sleeping)
- Missing going to SF with Kerr & Arndis today (P got called in & the rest of us are still recovering)
- Curled up in my favorite sickie outfit (complete with comfy footwear) and read a good book
- Fall weather got here!
- Got to hang out with Kelly, Kerr, & Gina (Amazing to have Kel & Kerr in town at the same time!)
- Sent Tula off to her new home with Kelly in AZ
- Found my baby girl sitting on the couch with her hands folded and head down saying, "Daddy, Daddy, Uncle..." She was praying for Peter & Richard. Cutest thing I've ever seen.
- Being silly with my hubbie
- Listening to long unheard songs on my iTunes and remembering the wonderful people God has placed in my life over the years
- Will get to go see Poppa Bill, Momma Lynne, Deb, Ted, & my precious nephews
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Yes, I know it has been ages since my last post. I have plans for a number of entries, but things have been crazy. September was supposed to be my laid back month after my crazy August. It didn't work out that way at all. Sorry, Friends. I promise to come back.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
1 Tim. 1:7
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
|1.||Scoop ice cream into Quick-Stir® Pitcher. Add milk and coffee. Cover pitcher with lid; plunge to mix. Serve immediately.|
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Warning, rant to ensue.
Why is it the vast majority of intelligent/creative shows get canceled within the first two or three seasons, but junk like "Two & a Half Men" is still on? Here are just a few examples:
- The Black Donnellys
- Eli Stone
- October Road
- The Unusuals
- feel free to add to my list in comments (I know Talicia and Andrew were upset about "Pushing Daisies" - an emmy winning canceled show)
Now off to bed. This last week has been a rough one in the sleep department.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Soft rain and strong music mingle in my ears
Flirting with the silence of the night.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
I've never had an H.M.O. so I know almost nothing about them. I know the main difference is that my General Practitioner would have to refer me to any other specialists, but not much else. What are the groups in this area? Do they include any of my current doctors? Would we still get to go to Good Sam?
I've never had Kaiser either, but at least 3/4 of what I've heard have been horror stories. After watching how they've handled Lenny's Grandpa after his stroke this past week I'm honestly somewhat frightened for their patients and have no desire to be one of them. Am I wrong? Are there others of you out there who have had wonderful experiences with them?
Please share. If you live in California (or used to) let me know what medical insurance you have or have had and what kind of reviews you'd give it. If you are involved with the medical community please share your thoughts. The more information we can get when making this decision the better. Thanks in advance for your help!!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
- I'm getting my hair done tomorrow (YAY for Jac being all better!). I'll post pictures.
- I'm one step closer to beginning my "tattoo process." I've decided on "She will always love." in a cursive or scroll font. It will be a wandering swirl on the back of my neck. Now I just need a mock up to hang somewhere. Do any of you graphic designer font ninjas have suggestions for fonts I should look at?
- I have a gift card for a facial & massage that Peter gave me for our anniversary that I think I'll schedule for next week.
- I have a gift certificate for a mani & pedi (thanks Lacie, Kacey, Andrew, & R.J.) from my birthday last year that I'm going to use.
This morning Peter's car randomly rolled and was blocking a nearby apartment building's driveway. The cops were called. We got a $50 ticket. The car would have been towed, costing us $1,500, if Peter hadn't randomly decided to go running just as the cop showed up. Praise God for the tiny prompts He gives us! My lesson in this was how crazy it was that I focused first on the $50 we now owe instead of the $1,450 we don't.
Lesson Two (A.K.A. Today's Update):
I'm filling in at my old job today. It is a wonderful place. I'm getting the chance to spend time with women who are "soul refreshing" friends. The people who just seeing their smile makes your burdens feel lighter and life feel easier. It is such a blessing. It reminds me of all my other friends who do this for me and how I need to make more time for them. It reminds me that I'm blessed to have them. I miss my little girl, but I know she & her daddy are having a blast and being here today will help me be a better mommy.
Lesson Three (A.K.A. The Really Important One):
Some of you may remember my friend Donna. We used to work together here until I had my daughter. Wednesdays were the day we worked together. She's not here today because she is at chemo. Instead of getting to hear how things are from her I'm reading an e-mail. Her joy and upbeat personality still come through. I don't think she would mind if I share some of her wise words:
On the other hand, we can choose gratitude. Admittedly, this is the road less traveled. But then, that means a smoother ride - less bumps, potholes, and loose debris. This road always leads to somewhere better than where we are. It lifts us out of the mundane and invites us into the Divine.
Strangely, if we don't make the choice, it will be made for us by circumstances. Most of us are like cars with our wheels out of alignment. We automatically drift towards bitterness. Gratitude realigns our souls and keeps us on the right road."
1 Thes. 5:16-18
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Let's take a moment right here. What does "everything prepared" mean? The moms out there know. It means your home, yourself, and your toddler. For the record, this is harder and more time consuming than it sounds.
...when I find out that the water has been turned off...again...with no notice. Arg. Where is that Note to Self I wrote? Where is that cheery attitude I had yesterday when this happened? I'm sure I'll find them, but for now I'm ticked. I don't want to take my daughter, my dirty hair, and I out to do errands sans shower.
Wait, here's my note. I found it while going to the kitchen where I also found my sense of humor and my daughter dipping a toy car in the cats' water bowl.
Monday, July 27, 2009
- Stephanie's blog totally blessed and is helping me.
- I got a coupon for a free pint of Starbucks Ice Cream!!
- I'M GETTING A PACKAGE FROM AMAYA TOMORROW!!! If you didn't know, I love mail and surprises!!
- My birthday is coming!
- Peter bought me cookie dough!
- Talicia is visiting soon!!!
- I can be angry with an intimate object...like my malfunctioning pitcher for example.
- We are no longer purchasing this particular flavor of Crystal Light, even if it does have antioxidants.
- The artificial colorings used for this drink have no business being in our bodies if they can stain my kitchen.
- My husband informed me that our water has been turned off without notice by the plumbers working on our building.
- My daughter dumped chocolate chips all over the newly scrubbed kitchen floor and began to eat them.
- I cleaned up said chocolate chips (yes, I did eat the last few left in the bag afterward).
- I realized again I haven't had any coffee all day.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
- Really good time in prayer
- My husband's arms
- My little girl's smile
- The sounds of my family enjoying themselves when I visit my folks
- My brother calling me, "Seester" or "The Joy of my Heart"
- Hugs from old friends who truly know me with all my many quirks and imperfections, yet still love me
- Chuck Taylors
- My favorite jeans.
- The perfect chai tea latte in the fall or caramel macchiato in winter or spring
- Driving down Santa Teresa on a warm day with the windows down and a good song playing.
- "America" by Simon & Garfunkel
Friday, July 17, 2009
Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.
“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
Over the last year God has used these to remind me that He is always with me. He knows about my every joy and struggle I face and is there with me. It reminds me that even the littlest sparrow has His attention and so do I. Now and then I feel like the sparrows - tiny and not worth much in may people's eyes. It's then that I remember that to God those sparrows are beautiful and valuable, and I am even more so.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Now and then I feel lost in this world. I think we all do. Yesterday was a struggle for me because of that. The world felt so immense and I so minuscule. Part way through the day I went outside and sat on the steps to my apartment. I prayed for a while, pouring my heart out to God. I was reminded that I am His child, His cherished child. The one He will never leave or forsake.
After I came inside Peter and I stood in the kitchen talking. We talked and talked until we started to understand even better the person each of us had married. I was reminded that I am a wife, a loved and very lucky wife.
My parents called last night to see how I was doing after my Dr.'s appointment. My dad reminded me how important I am to him with affirming words and grand compliments I don't deserve, my mom with fussing and advice. I was reminded that I am a daughter, a daughter held dear by two amazing people.
Last night as Peter and I snuck into our room where our 18 month old daughter lay already sleeping there was a little voice in the darkness, "Hi." When Peter asked if she wanted to come snuggle with us for a moment before going back to sleep she replied, "yeah, yeah, yeah." When he laid her down next to me she rolled towads me, help me tight, and kissed my cheek. I was reminded that I am a mom, the most important woman in her life.
All of these things make up vital parts of who I am. There are smaller parts like being someone who loves to drive on sunny days with the music turned up unreasonably loud, who somewhat secretly loves Styx, who would be crushed on a small scale if her DVR didn't record "So You Think You Can Dance." I am that person. I am also someone who declined to meet Chris Carrabba for fear I'd make an idiot of myself and who gets rediculous when I'm tired. I get cranky when I'm hungry and relate all too well to Sandi Thom's, "I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In Hair)." None of those things are as important as the beautiful reminders I received yesterday. The greatest part of who I am is one who loves Christ, her husband, her daughter, her parents, her brother, and her friends. Yesterday I thanked God for prayer, long talks, phone calls, and hugs. Today I thank Him for little lost cheerios and before work kisses goodbye.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
But, in all fairness,
it was a no hitter.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.
BE KIND ANYWAY.
If you are honest, people may cheat you.
BE HONEST ANYWAY.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous.
BE HAPPY ANYWAY.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.
GIVE YOUR BEST ANYWAY.
FOR YOU SEE, IN THE END, IT IS BETWEEN YOU AND GOD.
It never was between you and them anyway.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
- See previous entry for number one. (Note - accomplished on a walk with Kacey)
- To love like God
- More time with friends/deeper time with friends (especially Kacey, Lacie, Sarah, & Stacy)
- To go see Janette at the hospital
- A green dragon roll
- A pedicure
- Amaya to visit
- All my laundry to be magically done
- A massage
- Talicia to live in San Jose
- A pair of Red Engine jeans
- Amaya's mom's chocolate mousse
- To see my daughter's beautiful smile
- To continue learning how to be a better friend
- A vanity
- My hubbie to be home from work
- A bigger apartment (still on the wishlist, but no longer worrying about it)
- "Eli Stone" to be un-canceled
Monday, July 6, 2009
- Shower (yes, that goes on the list)
- Katie over
- Mail baby shower invitations
- Pick up alterations (News to no one - I'm short)
- Stride Rite (baby is growing like crazy & her very cute, very wide feet need new shoes)
- Apple store (my new ipod, that recently replaced my old new ipod, is angry with me) (sidenote - I am beginning to be concerned that I am the opposite & adult version of Baby Touch & Go on "Heroes")
- Rico & Rachel over for mtg.
- Wii Fit
- Bible Study
Saturday, July 4, 2009
It was actually pulled through the parade by the hose! I loved it! There were some very cool cars too. There were 3 classic Mustangs, but all 3 were red convertibles. I LOVE classic Mustangs, but I'm just not as big on red ones or convertibles. Because of that my favorite cars were probably the Woody and the Willy. The owner of the Willy even let my girl sit in it! Here are some pics:
Have a wonderful 4th of July and remember how much we have to be grateful for!
I want to send a special thank you to Kerr, Scott D., Adam C., and all the other military men and women for serving and for going through things we back at home can't fathom. Thank you for giving so much.